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Posted by on in Common Life

The gateway to the Center is gone …. felled by nature – water, weather and fuzzy and/or feathered creatures.

It was made out of oak - 9 by 9 solid oak beams. Designed and built by my good friend John Leidenfrost – I had the honor of working side-by-side with John on it's construction. Thb2ap3_thumbnail_torii.PNGe wood was so hard and dense that it dulled the sharpest, strongest tools. It was only the will of two stubborn humans that we were able to complete it – I thought it would stand for all time (well, longer than 12 years). It was the most amazing, beautiful thing that I had ever helped create.

In my hubris I thought this torii would live into the next generation of Center Quester, long after I was gone. My minor gift to the Center. It made it one Jupiter cycle, twelve years.

It is gone, and I now realize that my hubris may extend well beyond the torii to where I think the Center will continue well after all us original "Centerites" are gone. It may, or it may not. Like the torri, Wisdom's Goldenrod may have a shorter shelf life than we hope – or it may last, but I am beginning to believe that it has only a little to do with human effort.

There is talk of building a new gateway to the Center, but it is too early to tell if it will happen or not – right now my heart is as broken as the pile of rotten oak on the Center path and want no part in the building of the next – unless, maybe, just maybe a next generation of Questers wills it so.

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Posted by on in Common Life

19 Points for Pondb2ap3_thumbnail_Herbert1.jpgering

Our way teaches our Soul

1. The  Art of the Soul  is the attempt to recover Unity in Life and act. To come to this unity is what could be called God (Overself works too), and is our Reason for Life. This is not necessarily known at the outset and is part of the culturalization and education of the Soul.

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Posted by on in Common Life

I find myself at one of those cross roads in life.  I had been in the work world for over 32 years straight, when recently my job was taken away from me.  I first took it as a horrible loss, but as a little time has passed it is truly a gift -- but I wonder, what is next?  Some days I am calm and very peaceful, but there are others, like this morning, where I wake up in an agitated state.

So I go looking for something to do.  How about cleaning the garage, again (a never ending battle, lost the moment it is clean ….)?  I find a box of stuff from my last job and I just about dump the whole thing, when something makes me stop and go through it, one thing at a time.  I find this notebook where I had put quotes, poems, musings – things I stumbled over and each one touched me enough to print it out and put it into a book. ….  I turn a few pages, and find this, a poem from my dear friend Richard Nowogrodzki.  Reading it again changes my entire feeling state, putting things back in proper perspective, and I give thanks for all my friends, past and present:

Last snow:

Ah, I think I see a few of the tricks now.
It’s easy not to cling to the last snow of the season,
coming as it does at the end of so long a winter.
And the last daffodil, the last swallowtail butterfly, and the last ripe pear -
they’re noted only in retrospect, so it’s not very difficult to let them go.

In the fall, the maple leaf devotes itself so completely to its changes that,
blazing into a timeless moment,
it simply releases from its branch
and softly descends.

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I write this to clarify myself to myself, but also with the hope that others can look back at their own first awakening, and see how it has evolved inside themself to result in who they’ve become.

The date was early April 1976. I had just arrived at my sister’s house. My second marriage had just failed and I was there with my 5-year-old son, hoping for a positive reception from my family. When my parents arrived, I got anything but.

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Posted by on in Common Life

b2ap3_thumbnail_Wolff.JPGThis quote is from Franklin Merrell-Wolff, an American Sage whose initial mystical experiences -- like mine -- were in mathematics. This is from the book Transformations of Consciousness, in the chapter "Introception and Introspection", where he defines the inward-seeking function he calls Introception:

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Posted by on in Common Life

This is my very favorite Indian Vegetarian Cookbook. It's a great cookbook that reads like a book of short stories. I used to give away copies of it when was available used for a dollar or two, but now it's become nearly unavailable, and I'd still like to give it away. I got a friend of mine (who regularly scans old science fiction magazines) to scan this and here it is.


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Posted by on in Common Life


I am interested in how the Forms seem to arise from the Formless.

When I started to paint some, one thing I wanted to do was to paint The Forms. I wanted to picture Anthony's chartings in color and shape. Maybe straight geometrics maybe not. Also the same with the Archetypal Thanka images. Shape and color. Something alive.

This painting started as shape and color. I could not get it. Several iterations into  the painting it got to that grey or brown melange that when you get there you kind of got to retrench.
Ugh. We all know this in the art of our lives. That sea of  greys and browns your ship can come to.  We wipe it down. Not clean.

Amitabha is red so we add red. Using a knife and with some  rough strokes. The shoulder appears.

From inside - me?, the paint? the board underneath? - comes a form.
First a shoulder then the rest. 

The Forms have a Neutrality. Like money or the Psyche. Without, there is receptivity.

And the Forms can enter, bidden or unbidden.

This to me is how it all arises

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Posted by on in Common Life

This is not about degrees or astrology -- the title notwithstanding ("Mars Talk") -- it's on an entirely different topic.

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Posted by on in Common Life

Fear creeps in like a morning ground fog,
first covering your ankles; it heads up your legs and can settle in your heart.

And I find myself, as I age, being more fearful of things than ever before:b2ap3_thumbnail_banjo1.jpg

“Can I still climb that hill on my bike?”
“Should I even be biking?”
“Go to Japan?  Are you nuts?”

The list goes on and on , to the point where I may find myself staying in my bathrobe and shuffling around the house worrying about what the world will do to me today.

So imagine my surprise when a few months ago, on my morning walk with the dogs I heard, coming from my heart:

“Play Banjo”

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Discord throws the apple and Lenny's Hymn to Demeter 
(Dedicated to Eleanor Cohen)

Discord throws the apple:

The story is told: At a banquet of the Gods, Discord — a fiery and important God himself — threw an apple inscribed “For the Fairest”. Three goddesses claimed the apple, Aphrodite, Hera, and Athena. They called upon a mortal — Paris of Troy — to settle the argument. Hera promised that if he chose her, she would grant him lordship over men, lands and gold without measure. Athena promised he would have all the world's knowledge, and be renowned as the wisest among men. Aphrodite promised him the most beautiful woman in the world. Paris chose Aphrodite, leading to the Trojan War.

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Posted by on in Common Life

Levels of Selfhood translated as Levels of participation in the Zodiac

This is a quick introduction to my paper Levels of Selfhood. This paper is largely a commentary on some remarkable pictures — geometric drawings — that have come to my attention and I have been pleased to draw. The topics mentioned below are greatly expanded in the paper. Please read my short papers on the triangle and square and on the twelve-pointed star elsewhere in this blog for more introductory material.

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Posted by on in Common Life

I don't have much to say — except in passing — about the nature of mathematical reality. What interests me is the experience of investigating mathematics. This is not because of the mathematical results. The results themselves mean something only to the student who cares about them. But this caring can reach a certain intensity, and then the experience evolves into a mystical tool of self-investigation.

For I seem, in my own experience, to have stumbled upon a mystical opening through the pursuit of seemingly formal studies.

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Posted by on in PB

This is my first blog. My sense here is to foster dialogue and discussion.

This is a paper i wrote in 1988 and revised recently (today).

I hope it is of some use.


Some thoughts about the notion of Self as used by PB in some of his writings,
with passing reference to the profound philosophic synthesis made by
PB in developing the notion used.

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I’m new to blogging and I hope you’ll be patient with me as I learn my way around. I hope to share some of the things that puzzle me and some of the things I’ve found after 45 years of questing.

Please look at my papers Levels of Selfhood and Why 360? elsewhere on this website.

My wise wife kindly read some of these notes, and reminds me that whatever I seem to be writing, I’m writing my astrology.

I offer to you two new papers:  "The Triangle and the Square" and "The Twelve-Pointed Star" part I

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